Friday, 5 November 2010

Waiting Game

So the countdown has begun for my next Rituximab treatment. In eight days I will be having the second round of infusions following my first in April this year. To be honest, I am an incy bit petrified. My fear isn’t just down to having to go through the whole ordeal of having the infusion, but also for what happens next. You see, it’s pretty unclear whether the Rituximab is actually having any impact on the activity of my RA because I am taking steroids. My RA only seemed to improve after I started taking the God awful steroids, not after my first Rituximab. I fear that as I slowly come off them, the arthritis will return to normal and yet again I will have tried a treatment which has failed.
 Only time will tell if this is the case though, and as all things are with this disease, it’s just another waiting game. Did I mention how much I bloody hate waiting? I am one of those people who wants everything to happen right now, so if it goes wrong I can then move on quickly. It must be incredibly frustrating for my poor family and friends who have had to endure the ups and downs of my condition waiting for something to finally make life easier. I miss not having to make constant trips to hospitals and doctors. Suddenly life has become very complicated.
 I’m not sure people really understand how serious treatments like Rituximab are. It’s pretty much the equivalent to chemotherapy, which we all know treats cancer. Its intense, time consuming and exhausting. Careful checks have to be made to ensure I don’t have any infections that could cause complications with the treatment. This is always a worry as if I am not allowed to have it, it’s more waiting and suffering. As I have been unwell lately I have concerns that the treatment won’t go ahead but I can only hope on the day that everything goes to plan. I won’t be having a bed this time, I know that much, as the unit where I have it haven’t even got enough sodding chairs let alone beds. So is being sat in a chair unable to move with a drip feeding poison into your veins your idea of fun? Hmmm, not mine either. But I intend to make a day of it, take loads of rubbish treats to eat, plenty of magazines and have my mum on hand to cheer me up. For now, its bonfire night again and I have the excitement of fireworks and hot dogs to keep me entertained, even if it’s minus twenty degrees outside (bit of an exaggeration!)
I’ll be sure to report back on my second date with Rituximab... Be sure to wish me luck

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