I attempted the sheer madness of going to a Christmas market at the weekend. I usually love the build up to Christmas, with the exception of last year when I couldn’t move for pain! I love the crisp, cold air outside, the smell of mulled wine and the excitement of buying presents for loved ones. I must admit having RA makes it more difficult to look forward to things, especially this time of year. I have a habit of feeling faint and very tired, due to the meds I take I suppose, which makes Xmas shopping a bit of a nightmare. I can no longer make a day of it at a shopping centre, because I would simply have a heart attack or something with all the stress and inevitable ill feeling I would have. So I opt to do my shopping trips in short bursts, giving up when I feel tired.
So the Christmas market was once again an experience. I typically awoke with a very swollen knee that day but I didn’t want to miss out so chose to go along with friends and my boyfriend anyway and deal with the pain later. Turns out, I didn’t cope that well with the pain after all. After walking through the streets of Manchester for a little while my knee began to swell even more. I tried to have fun and take in the entire Christmas atmosphere, but being surrounded by crowds of people when you aren’t feeling the best is not the greatest idea. I didn’t get to sample the delights of mulled wine and all the festive treats on offer because I felt sick and fed up. I also felt horribly guilty that I was making it not so fun for everyone else as well with my moping (but as most of us do, I put on a brave smile and carried on).
In the end, my leg became so swollen that it was weak. I literally couldn’t put much weight on it for fear it would give way and I would topple over amongst the sea of people and get covered in mulled wine! I politely made my excuses and decided it was best to get home and rest for a bit. By this point I was so nauseas, the smell of beer and sickly sweet crepes on offer at the market nearly made me throw up. So, once again, I had to terminate the fun for the sake of my moaning and groaning body and retire to bed for the rest of the day. I am happy I got to experience a little Christmas cheer for the first time this year, but I can’t help wishing that for once I could have a day when I feel completely well so I can enjoy such festivities with my friends again. I swear, you should never take these things for granted because its only when you can no longer do things that you realise how much you enjoyed them.
I will not be put off by the mission impossible of the Xmas markets, even if I have to abort another mission early, I am determined to drink at least one mug of mulled wine and eat lots of Christmassy food on an outing with my friends this year. Wishing you very successful festive missions in preparations for Christmas!