We ladies seem to continuously have ‘fat’ days. The days where no matter how many times you ask your family and friends ‘do you think I’ve put on weight?’ and they reply ‘don’t be stupid’. I seem to be having a collection of these days at present. I am not a particularly vain person, I like to look nice but I’ve never really cared about my weight before because I haven’t needed to. I have been blessed with a pretty good metabolism and don’t seem to put on much weight even after a few quarter pounders with cheese and chippy teas. However, since I began taking steroids last year, my weight has increased back to my ‘normal’ amount.
When I say normal, I mean the weight I was at before my RA ordeal began. I was a healthy weight, not too skinny, just slim, and when RA hit I lost a lot of blubber. I have mentioned before about my weight dropping to 6 stone before I was treated with steroids and had the help of a nutritionist. But it seems being back to better health has taken its toll on my backside. The problem is, when you’re on steroids, i have found no matter what you do or eat, you can’t seem to shift those couple of pounds or inches you gained in order to not feel in excruciating pain every day. It’s a catch twenty two, feel bit better and gain some timber, or feel like you want to die but have an enviable waist celebs would be proud of.
I seem to have a fear of photos being taken of me and placed for all to see at the moment. I fear that people will scroll through images of me from recent times and come across one of me from last year when my weight dropped and think ‘my, she’s put on a bit of weight’. I wish I could put a disclaimer on all my pictures saying, ‘the slightly larger bum, tum and hips and hamster face are due to steroid use, please don’t take this as actual representation of my normal self’. But frankly, that’s ridiculous.
So do we complain about the extra bits of flab we have gained in order to feel a bit human, or be thankful that the price to pay for decrease in pain only means people will whisper about how ‘healthy’ (I think this means fat)we look, compared to before?