So, I am finally going on a trip tomorrow after months of waiting. As most of you know, I couldn’t go through with my original travel plans last year as my RA and treatment got in the way. I have been waiting so long through this cold winter to experience some warmth from the sun again, which generally makes us all feel better. I fly to Mexico early in the morning and whilst I am incredibly excited about the relaxation and surroundings ahead, I am a little apprehensive.
The thing is, I am always apprehensive about anything I plan to do these days for fear RA will ruin what I had in mind. I fear a flare up especially but most of all the uncomfortable plane journey. However, that’s the price I pay for attempting to enjoy life and I am happy to pay it. I know I will look like a crippled old aged pensioner when I attempt to leave the plane after a ten hour flight but I don’t care. The relaxation and enjoyment of a holiday is something I need right now. It’s kind of the end of the chapter in my life without work as when I return, despite the odds, I am launching my own business.
I have been thinking about returning to work for some time, partly because I feel my condition has improved as much as it ever will but mainly because I simply cannot sit around and wait for things to happen anymore. I despise not having a reason to get up in the morning. I hate not having goals to achieve. As I have not found a suitable position to be employed in, even though I have tried (hard), I have decided to take the matter into my own hands and do something I am passionate about. I am going to make cakes for a living! Random, I know, but it is a business that reflects my creativity and organisational skills and my love of cake (of course). Having my own business means I am not restricted by an employer or hours of work. I can work flexibly, which is so important when you have RA cause frankly you never know how you’re going to feel one day to the next. I can make as much out of my little idea or as much as I choose.
I am incredibly excited about having something to work towards and something that I can inject all that creativity that’s been stored away through my darkest days with this illness. I know times are hard for everyone in business right now but I intend to do the best I can, if I make a little money... great! If not, well at least I gave it a shot. I can sit here and wait for one of the few jobs I am not really interested in to fall in my lap or I can go out there and do it on my own and that’s what I have chosen to do.
It’s going to be hard work and will require determination, but I am so ready for it. Gone are the days spent alone at home waiting for the family to return from work. Gone are the days of being envious, yet proud, of friends for their successful careers. Now is my chance to prove I am worthy in society again, because job hunting in this climate (despite having plenty of experience and a degree under my belt) is degrading and disappointing.
So, I am signing off for a couple of weeks my friends, but don’t fear... a full report on Mexico will be given upon my return. Wish me a ‘crippled like an OAP’ free journey (I will be wearing some rather fetching flight socks too!). Adios amigos.