Time is ticking away for me as a non-bionic person. In about 36 hours I will have an artificial hip. I am actually considering asking them to do some other work on me whilst I’m out cold, maybe a facelift, straighten those teeth out etc. What do you reckon?
I’m coming round to the idea now, to be honest I’m so sick of the pain and discomfort and endless sleepless nights that I just want it sorted. It hasn’t particularly felt like a big deal most of the time, and then I get giant, scary waves of fear that I’m having surgery, which is quite a big deal.
I have loved the fact that once again my friends and family have rallied round showing me their support. They are determined to help me with my new business by keeping the shop open and volunteering their help for free. I even have a few handy helpers to cook up a storm on the baking front, as I direct from a kitchen stool. So really I should have nothing to worry about and my hard work isn’t about to go to waste because of ‘hip gate’ and its unfortunate timing.
I can’t help but worry though that this replacement cycle will continue throughout the future and I hate to think of having to ask for help with running my business again. Maybe I did a stupid thing by taking a leap of faith and setting up my own company. I’m sure some people would say it is irresponsible of me to think I could run a business on my own with my condition. I’d probably agree with them right now. Maybe it was me trying to dream big and forget about the potential problems. But you know what, I went for it. I took a chance and did what I wanted to do for a change. I was, and still am, up for the challenge and I will fight to make sure my business is a success. If it fails it won’t be because I have an illness. I always strive to do my best and that will continue whether I am at home on crutches decorating cakes or able to do business as usual.
I do hope that people will read this and know that if I can do it, they can too. I have pain and suffering just like the rest of RA sufferers out there, the difference is I made a decision to not let it take over my life anymore. There will be bumps in the road, and things may not always be as easy as of you didn’t have RA, but you can still make something of what you can do.
So I am packing my bags for hospital now. It’s funny as every other time I have been admitted to hospital I haven’t had time to prepare and gather my things, but as this is a planned operation I know I can be more comfortable in my own clothes and with my books to read. It’s hardly like a holiday, but I am kinda looking forward to a bit of rest. It’s a wonderful excuse for a time out that I think I have needed for a while. I love my job and everything about my life at the moment but the whole hip thing has left me exhausted and it is starting to flare my arthritis up again. So it’s nice to know that I can go into the ward on Friday and not worry about anything, my business is taken care of, my family and friends are there for support so all I need to do is concentrate on my recovery.
I know I am very lucky that I don’t have to worry about much, but that only comes from a long time of ensuring my family and friends understand my condition and need for help sometimes. I want to thank those who have wished me well, I am sorry I can’t always get back to all of you but I want you to know I greatly appreciate your kind words and thoughts. I am going to miss my comfy sofa and bed for a while... it will be up on blocks and my bed will resemble a sun lounger when I return as they are sticking some plastic back on it to stop me turning in the night. Here’s to a speedy, yet uncomfortable recovery. I’ll be back next week, hopefully, to share with you my experience of surgery (not sure how much i'll remember with all the drugs but I will try!)