So I thought, as a little treat, I would share with you the opening few paragraphs from the book so you can decide for yourselves if you would like to read more. Here goes...
Monday, 22nd March 2009
I gripped the cool metal of the chair arms and stared through the dusty blinds into the surgery car park. I waited for the words to sink in. The woman spoke slowly and softly. Her wiry hair constantly falling in the line of her sight, she brushed it away to make eye contact. ‘Do you understand what I am telling you Miss Roberts? It’s just you seem a little distracted?’
I nodded, feeling that I didn’t completely understand but I wanted to reassure her I was listening. I wanted to run out of that room as fast as I could. Rewind to the morning when I was hopeful. Hopeful of something, anything, other than this. I switched off as she passed me leaflets and mentioned something about my family and friends.
‘Most importantly, you need to discuss this with your employer. I understand you have had significant time off recently and this may help them understand why.’
‘Yes of course,’ I nodded again. ‘What is it that I need to tell them exactly?’ I hesitated.
‘You need to inform them of your diagnosis, Kerrie. This is very serious. You may feel a lot worse until we can get you on the correct treatment, and that may mean more time off work, and you will need support from your family. Your family live in the area, is that correct?’
‘Actually no, I live with my partner and some housemates. My family are about two hours away… Is that going to be a problem?’ I was aware she was flipping through my notes trying to establish some background on me.
‘Well, not a problem exactly Kerrie, but it is important that you speak with them about this. I would recommend that you don’t go through this alone.’
I felt like I had just been given six months to live. It wasn’t that bad surely?
‘Kerrie, Rheumatoid Arthritis is not something you will recover from. This is a long term condition unfortunately. I am not trying to frighten you, but you need to take this seriously.’ She looked concerned that I was not paying attention but to be honest I wasn’t. I wanted to leave the dark, dreary room to call James.
With her request that I make another appointment for in a couple of week’s time, I thanked the doctor and staggered through the door. Daylight hit me like a cold shower. How long was I in there for? It suddenly dawned on me that I didn’t know where to go or what to do. I was due back at the office in the morning but how could I possibly go back now?
I rifled through my bag trying to find my phone. I didn’t know who to call or what to say, so I held it tight in my hand as I walked slowly through the car park towards the bus stop. The pain in my legs made me limp slightly and I wished it would subside so I could get home faster. As I stepped onto the bus, a wave of anxiety hit me. I suddenly felt incredibly hot and overwhelmingly nauseas. The driver asked if I was ok, ‘You look a tad pale love…’ I rushed towards a seat feeling the colour drain from my face. ‘I’m fine,’ I replied politely, grateful of the seat taking my weight as I watched the remaining passengers get on.
If you would like to read more, please let me know... the adventures of Rheuma Girl await