Monday, 27 September 2010

Bon Voyage

The time has come to say goodbye (for now) to some very special friends of mine. As they embark on their adventure, travelling around the world, I can’t help but feel left behind. Sometimes it’s difficult to watch the ones you love move on with their lives when all you feel is stationary. It got me thinking about the next chapter in my adult life and if those exciting adventures will ever happen for me or will my condition always hold me back. I have accepted that I cannot go with my friends and I should feel lucky that I at least get to spend some time in Australia with them. But as the time nears when they have to fly off without me, I have these recurring dreams that I am standing in departures at an airport watching all the people I love board a plane without me. As I struggle to walk, because my knees are bad, I can’t catch up with them and then the plane takes off, leaving me alone in the airport.
There are no strict guidelines for what you are supposed to do or achieve as a young adult. However, the majority seem to follow the pattern of university, travelling, starting a career, getting married, starting a family etc. Where does my life fit into this pattern? I obviously have uni under my belt but the rest seems worlds away. They are all things I want, but I cannot see when they will happen or if they will happen. I don’t want to spend my life trying to catch up with people and I don’t wish to do all these things just because the people around me are. I want to find my own purpose and route into the next chapter of my life. One where I am comfortable but continuously challenging my condition (so that I am not refused a seat on the plane if I so wish to travel). I am happy to be the babysitter and the bridesmaid for now (rather than the mother and the bride). That is all to come for me I hope but won’t happen for a few years yet, I am sure.
I will miss my friends dearly and would love to share the experience of seeing the world with them. But, for now, I will have to see it through their eyes and concentrate on what I want from life right now… a career mostly! And a lottery win would be nice….

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