Ravin' Mad

I have some strange symptoms and goings on at the best of times but this takes the biscuit. The thing is, I can’t figure out what is causing it and why it’s started all of a sudden but it’s been going on for a few weeks now... every night. Also, I’ve started to grind my teeth so all in all I’m not getting the best night sleep (and I can’t be that easy to sleep next to either... sorry Josh). I haven’t changed my medication recently or had any other significant changes I can think of so the mind boggles. I have been getting pain in my wrist but that doesn’t explain the other arm going at it all night.

I don’t sleep at the best of times, for one reason or another. Whether its pain and discomfort, most nights, or things on my mind, the rest of the nights, I cannot remember the last time I had a decent night’s sleep. Probably about a year before all this started happening (so I haven’t slept properly for about 4 years... perfect). I have had to try and catch forty winks in the afternoon occasionally but the amount of caffeine I drink throughout the morning so that I can function on barely any sleep keeps me buzzing through the afternoon making it hard to relax. Maybe the caffeine has something to do with the raving mad arm syndrome, vicious circle though as without sleep I need some sort of caffeine fix to join reality each day. I do need to curb my caffeine addiction though, I think I am relying on my red bull cans and cups of tea far too much at the moment and it doesn’t really help because I’m still tired I just have a strange constant stream of energy buzzing through me (so really it’s like sleep walking). I’m pretty sure I resemble a zombie at present (nowt changes there then).

I received some results today from the x-ray I had on my left wrist, it’s pretty knackered. There are some signs of change in the bone, down to RA no doubt so it’s probably only going to get worse but with the major surgery on my hip already done this year, my doctor is reluctant to make me go through more surgery unless it’s absolutely necessary. I appreciate that but I don’t know how much longer I can put up with this limp, lifeless, aching thing attaching my hand to my arm. It’s not really doing anything or of any use to me at present which is making my job difficult (try rolling out icing to cover several wedding cakes with a knackered wrist). But I suppose it saves me having to have more work done at the mo (I can’t really deal with any more time out in recovery, six weeks after the hip op was bad enough).

So, on I plod, with my dodgy wrist and raving mad arms. All I need now is a constant twitch and to start shouting things at random and my transformation to complete weirdo is complete!