Life Bumps

Some rather strange lumps have appeared on my legs, alongside my shins. With frequent strange additions to my body these days (not as bad as three heads or anything) I am not overly concerned. It is just another thing I have to remind myself to get checked out on my regular visits to the GP. I swear I should have the bloody surgery named after me the amount of times I am there. Anyway, my left leg expanded to three times its size last week and I began sporting a rather attractive cankle so I decided it may be time to pay Dr Leg a visit.
I waited patiently for my turn, as always, and got the sense of relief I always get when sat in front of him about to discuss various problems. I instantly feel better, usually, when I go see a doctor, having confidence that they will check everything out and not let me suffer. However, I have been frustrated on several visits and haven’t always got the outcome I wanted. I have felt like the doctor has had a lack of interest in my concerns or can’t be bothered to do necessary tests to sort things out. Most issues I am having are put down to having arthritis. I wonder where this will stop though, I understand that a swollen ankle may be due to my arthritis but if I walked in growing a third arm would he simply say ‘Its probably due to the arthritis’. Erm, I think not.
It made me recall a slightly amusing episode a good friend of mine had whilst visiting his GP after noticing some small lumps appearing randomly on his arms. Now anyone in their right mind would go and get any significant changes in their body checked out right? Just to put their mind at ease. He explained to the female GP of Indian ethnicity that the lumps were concerning him and after examining them, through the power of sight, she diagnosed them as, and I quote, ‘Life Bumps’. Yes you heard me correctly. A professional with years of medical training was now dishing out diagnoses of life bumps. When my friend questioned what, indeed, ‘life bumps’ were she replied (in an upbeat tone) ‘You know, just BUMPS OF LIFE’. Right.
So you can understand my concern when my doctor seemed to brush off the lumps that appeared on my leg. In his defence, he did request a blood test, however nothing in the results could explain the bumps resembling the peak district on my left shin. So, leaving the surgery frustrated once again, I went on to fight for an appointment with my Rheumatologist to request further explanation for my own ‘bumps of life’. My appointment is next week so I hope for some answers. For more appropriate medical terminology and diagnosis of my life bumps, watch this space.